Words are powerful things and the truth is one little word can kill any of your attempts at weight loss success. And it probably isn’t any of the words you are thinking of. This word is completely in our minds and if we delete it from our vocabulary we will have permanent, long-term, healthy weight loss! That word is “should” whether stated positively or in the negative, “should not.” By eliminating this one word we shift our mindset about losing weight and can achieve the success we desire.
Louise Hay is one of my favorite teachers and she says the word “should” is always about making us wrong. Either we are making ourselves wrong for something we did in the past, or we are wrong now, or we are even making ourselves wrong in the future.
For example, “I should have exercised yesterday” or “I should not have eaten that cookie” is making us wrong for the past-something we cannot undo! “I should lose weight because my doctor says I’m unhealthy” or “I should get out and walk but I don’t feel like it” makes us wrong for who we are or what we are (or are not doing) right now. Or we make ourselves wrong in the future by saying things such as, “I should be at my goal weight by the wedding” and “I should be able to run that marathon in June.”
Do you notice how we “should” all over ourselves? Sometimes we can motivate (or intimidate) ourselves for a while with “should” and “should not” but it really doesn’t help in the long-run.
Why is that? “Should” never springs from internal love and desire; it always comes from an external focus. Even though we are usually the ones imposing the “should” it stems from the idea that we must fit someone else’s perception…that we must somehow be different…that we are not good enough as we are.
To lose weight successfully is to lose weight and keep it off-permanent weight loss, not the kind that hops right back on the hips at a moment’s notice. To achieve that kind of success our motivation must come from the internal desire that arises from loving ourselves – right now, as we are, fat and all! By loving and accepting ourselves and being appreciative of our current selves we actually open ourselves up to an even “better”, healthier, more slender version of ourselves in the future.
Start your journey on the path to health and weight loss success on the right foot. Sit quietly and examine your reasons for wanting to lose weight. Look at them closely and feel which ones are coming from that external “should” line of thinking…and erase them from your list! Finding the true heart-felt motivation is worth the effort…until you do find it you will be “shoulding” all over your goals and not achieve success. Once you do find that love based motivation, what I call your “Why” then you will see that it is so much stronger than any should! Your real “Why” will be strong enough to help you face weight loss challenges in the future and keep yourself on this new, life-long journey to health!